Most people grow up with a perfectly normal childhood with two parents, brothers and sisters, and maybe even a dog. That childhood consists of school and friends, riding bikes and summer vacations. The home is filled with lots of love and laughter. Then comes the day that a child who grew up in that environment has just discovered they were adopted. For whatever reason, their biological parents couldn't raise him or her and found someone else who could. This happens for several reasons, including financial struggles, family issues or health problems. So the biological parents signed their rights to the child to a happy loving couple that gave their child the life they could never have. Now the child, possibly a teenager or young adult, has found out the truth. The family he or she grew up with is not their real family. Their world is now turned upside down and spinning out of control. So now what? The child is angry. Angry at the adopted family, the biological family and his or her self for not seeing the truth sooner. Being angry is a perfectly normal and acceptable emotion. In order for this to become a more understandable and acceptable situation, there comes a time when the anger needs to be put aside and questions need to be answered. Where are the biological parents? Why did they give up their child? Can they be found? Also, let's not forget the parents that stepped up to the plate and accepted a child not of their own and raised them as loving and caring as possible.


There are a lot of things to be said for those who take on the responsibility of becoming adopting parents. It takes kindness and generosity and love that knows no boundaries. Also, the financial responsibility, the patience, the understanding and the sincere concern for the life of a child. For whatever reason that the biological parents could not keep their child, the child has the right to know. It may not be quite as difficult to grasp the concept of adoption if the truth as to why is revealed. It's definitely a good place to start. The adopting parents may know a lot of the answers. The child could start there and see where that gets them. Most often they will want to find their real parents, probably out of curiosity. Hopefully, the whole adoption has a happy ending. Hopefully, the child gets the answers he or she needs in order to accept it and move on. Hopefully, the child will remember that he or she had a good childhood with good people who cared for and loved him or her as their own. Adopting a child is a life changing event, but someone willing and able to love and provide for a needy child should definitely check into doing that. There will come a time that the adoption is no longer a secret. The only thing to do from there is to be honest. Nothing good will come of lying or covering it up. Be honest with the child and respect the fact that this may hurt for a while and he or she has every right to be upset. Adoption can be an absolutely wonderful thing, but it comes with a lot of responsibility and common sense. Tell children when they become of a good age to understand that adoption. Let them grow up knowing that and dealing with it. It may make all the difference in the world later on. (Have a question? Email