I believe many people have had those moments when they thought their spouse or significant other was having an affair, and it more than likely turned out to be an overactive imagination. When first starting out as a young adult or for those who have had bad relationships, learning the what to do and not do to a relationship isn't that simple, and it's easy to become suspicious and unbelieving. So here's a few guidelines as what to do and not do in a relationship that would be considered cheating: If either partner is having a private conversation via cell phone, computer, Ipod, etc. and the conversations are being deleted, that is cheating. If either partner is holding hands with someone other than their girlfriend/boyfriend, that is cheating. If either partner is spending more time with a person of the opposite gender other than their significant other, and their significant other is not around, that may not be cheating but it's not a good thing. If either partner never seems to answer his or her phone or messages in a reasonable amount of time, this may not be cheating, but it would be nice to know what's going on. If either partner's mood changes, becoming irritable for no reason, not wanting to discuss issues or lashing out, this may not be cheating, but something is definitely going on. These are just a few changes to look for in a relationship. It doesn't necessarily mean that there is a cheater, but it may mean that the relationship is changing and that is not always for the good.


Both partners should never leave the other out of the loop; always talk, always be on the same page. That provides security and safety for both people. In my opinion, there is one main reason why people cheat or at least go outside the realm of their relationship. It is because something is missing. It could be communication, affection, compassion or any number of things. So here's the options for a relationship that has at least one potential cheater. Talk about what is going on, discuss what the other partner feels is missing in the relationship, work on that and get the relationship back on track and stronger than ever, or, if that doesn't work, and no one can figure out what it missing and it cannot be fixed, then maybe it would be best to just walk away. Everyone deserves happiness and not every relationship is a bed of roses, some need more work than others, and some are so hard to get on track that it may never be right. Love cannot be forced and it shouldn't be. If both partners are right for each other and know how to communicate and know what the other needs, it will all fall into place. (Have a question? Email michellerhodes72@gmail.com)